Thursday, August 11, 2011

Composition by Ahmad (unedited) - Suitable Title, any suggestions?

    I stretched my arms, feeling fresh and energetic after that afternoon nap. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. I put my feet on the floor and shuffled them out the door.

    I was tired from having to go to tuition. Shuffling tiredly to the kitchen, I took out the milk from the refrigerator and drank it. What cool, refreshing goodness! My eyes were going to close when the suddenly opened wide. Wide-eyed, I realised that it was too silent to be true.

    I started rushing up the stairs, moving from room to room, only to found no one inside of them. The penthouse was far too big for me to know if I had gone through all the doors. Why had my father bought a penthouse only for the both of us? He was a widower. My mother had died moments after I was born. Ever since then, he was the only one that took care of me. He loved me and I had to take care of him! Since I had no mother, he is the only one dear to me and I will not lose him! I dashed to the telephone and dialled my father’s handphone number but no one answered. I put the handset back in its place. I was all alone in this silent penthouse. I leaned against the wall, cornering myself and cowering in fright.

    I was paralyzed in fear. Suddenly, hallucinations started appearing in my mind. My father being rammed, stabbed, shot in the head, smashed by debris. These were the odds of what happened to my father. I thought of two ideas to obtain information about my father’s location. I calmed down, breathed in deeply and grabbed the handset, dialled my aunt’s number and if she did not answer, my uncle’s number. None responded I felt disappointed that no one answered my calls. Finally, I resorted to using the last idea that I ever did not want to use. I sneaked out of the penthouse and moved to the neighbours’ next door. Knocking on the door, it creaked open and a dark figure towered above me. I had to look up to see his face.

    “What do you want, Boy?” the neighbour, wearing a black shirt and boxers, frowning, asked.

    “Do you know where my father is?” I replied with cowardice.

    “I do not know anything, Boy,” he answered and slammed the door in my face.

    I was on the verge of breaking down when someone shouted my name. It was my father and I ran to him. I should have never lost my faith in him. I hugged him in merriment, happy to see him again.


  1. The faith in a father
    Peh Qian Ling

  2. How strong a father can be.

    Kian Yang

  3. The title can be 'Faith'. The suspense builds up until it is released. It made my hold my breath all the way!


  4. This is good! I feel that the story is plotted really well. The title should be:Undieing faith.
    Jonathan Yeo

  5. Learning trust

  6. This compo is good although it has some grammer mistakes. The title should be mutual trust.

  7. Having faith in your father
    *Loo Jia Lin*