Thursday, August 11, 2011

Composition by Bhairavi (unedited) - Suitable Title, any suggestions?

 "Aaaa.." I moaned as I stretched and yawned. It was a Saturday afternoon and I had just woken up from my uninterrupted and peaceful nap. It was an unusual afternoon, to be exact as neither my annoying elder brother nor mum had woken me up from my sleep. Still heavy with sleep, I searched room by room for my family members only to find none of them at home. I was aware that Father had gone to work but Mother, my brother and my maid had to be home.Suddenly, I felt wide awake.

  I had heard friends about maids kidnapping or harming their employers.I ,however, tried to shake that thought off. My maid had always been good to my family and I. or was all part of an act she had put up to harm my family? I shuddered at that thought.So, immediately without any hesitation, I tried contacting my parents and brothers through the telephone but, as I had expected, to no avail. None of them had answered to even one of my numerous phone calls. How unbelievable!

  Reporting my family's disappearance to the police was one of the solutions I had thought about while I was scanning through my X-Ray eyes my neighbourhood.I was really worried and panicked by them. Even my neighbours were not at home. Even if they were, what possible good would it have done? I was confident that the first question that would escape their mouth was, "Then why didn't your maid kidnap you?". Would they even have believed a seven-year-old's story of her family being kidnapped by their maid without any evidence to probe so? How much worse could my day get? In the end, I decided to sit on the couch with my sweaty jelly-like legs over each other and wait patiently for my mother and brother to return home. The clock ticked and ticked by but they did not return home.

  Finally when I heard the sound of the door being unlocked, I jumped out of my feet.When the familiar scent of my mother's and brother's body spray morphed together filled my nostrils, I raced to the door in time to embrace my mother's waist. I immediately questioned them on where they had gone to and what took them so long. My mother explained to me that since my maid had gone back to her hometown for a short period of time(How despicable that I could forget such a thing!), my brother and her had to get the groceries themselves. And as I was sleeping soundly, they decided not to disturb me.They also did not answer my phone calls as they were carrying many bags of vegetables and meat. Mother apologised for scarring the wits out of me and my brother teased me for getting frightened easily. I shot him a disgusted look for expecting an angelic seven-year-old to be independent and matured. At the end of the day, however, I learnt not to forget important things such as forgetting that my maid had returned to her hometown, not to jump to conclusions or misjudge others.  


  1. the title would be waking up alone

  2. An usual experience

    Kian Yang

  3. Carelessness leads to a unforgettable experience
    Peh Qian Ling

  4. I like this story. It has an interesting storyline.


  5. Good job building up the suspense!


  6. It is a good story!I feel that the title should be:Trust your family members
    Jonathan Yeo

  7. It should be:My "kidnapper maid".

  8. An unforgettable experience
    Ng Wen Qi

  9. You should check your grammer carefully. I don't really get much of your story.
    the title should be "The day I learnt to never misjudge others"


  10. The title should be an unforgetable experiance.
    *Loo Jia Lin*