Thursday, August 4, 2011

Surprise or no Surprise (unedited) - contributed by Ivan

I like this piece, warms the hearts of the readers. What do you think?

Sunlight entered through the windows and the rays of golden light shone on my face, as if telling me to get out of my daily afternoon nap. Yawning as I stumbled through the room of my HDB flat, I wondered if anyone would remember my birthday.

Hopes and doubts about my birthday vanished when I saw that my sister was not in her room. That was when I was snapped awake and raced to my parents’ room. They were not there either.

Pacing around the room, I desperately kept thinking about every single place that they could have gone. “The shopping mall? The swimming complex? Where are they?” I thought to myself.

Then, a light bulb flashed in my head like the Wright Brothers. I snatched the house phone and dialed the numbers of their mobile phones. “Surely they have to pick up and answer my calls ,” I chuckled to myself.

As it turned out, there was no need for that. Mom, Dad and Lily had arrived home, lugging along huge paper bags filled with branded clothes.

“You guys bought all these…… and didn’t get any for me!” I asked with my voice trembling with anger as fires of betrayal burned fiercely while they danced around my irises.

They just ignored me and unloaded everything in their rooms. “Didn’t you get me presents or anything at all?” This time, my voice was pleading and every cell in my body was trying to deny the fact that they had forgotten about my birthday.

“Your birthday?” they asked in unison with a genuine hint of surprise in their voices. Then, something in me snapped like a crocodile’s mouth. I stormed to my room and slammed the door. Behind closed doors, I started to sob silently while my soft toy dog looked at me with pity.

The cold, hard truth was really too much for me to take. Dad-whom I worshipped like a hero, Mom-whom I trusted wholeheartedly and Lily-my own sister whom I doted on. “Why must they do this to me?” I shouted with all my strength in my shattered heart.

Like my heart, my hopes were shattered beyond repair and my worst doubts were reconfirmed. “I must put on a strong front!” I willed myself. Once my tears were dried and I pulled myself together, I went out and was greeted with a surprise.

“Surprise!” They cried in unison. Dad was there. Mom was there. Lily was there and everyone I knew was there.

“Wha…What’s all this?” I asked in utter disbelief. Without warning, they launched into a chorus of the Happy Birthday Song. Overcome by this scene, tears flowed but not of sadness and despair. It was of great pride and joy.

I stared at them like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. With arms akimbo, I asked them, “Did you plan all this? The pushing, the so-called forgetting my birthday?”

“Well, I can’t take the credit. It was really Lily’s idea,” Dad replied with a crooked grin.

I walked over and gave Lily a light punch on her shoulder and hugged the breath out of her. “Don’t you ever do that to me again Miss Oh!” I whispered almost inaudibly.

This incident really let me think-I can trust and rely on my family members to help me, even Lily and her wacky ideas. This really was a day of happiness and I loved Lily even more.

Sunlight entered the window as the golden rays faded to deep orange rays. There really are no words to describe this feeling.


  1. Ivan's composition really brings out his talent in writing. His composition consists of excellent vocabulary and description. It seems to me that he has been in a situation much likely to this as he knows what the person in such situations will react. Overall, it was a fluent composition which I enjoyed reading. :P

    Bhairavi Buddhamurthy

  2. After reading Ivan's composition, I learnt a new way to start and end my composition. I had also learnt phrases, idioms and some new words. It was a great piece of composition and I enjoyed it very much.

  3. I think a lot of effort has been put into making the story interesting.

  4. This story is very detailed and filed with good vocabulary, i feel that i have alot to learn...

  5. I think I have to learn from you! More descriptions and good vocabulary. I also think that a lot of effort has been put into making this interesting story.
    Ng Wen Qi

  6. Tis story is very descriptive.As most of the story is based on the writer's feelings,i find it very interesting.All the vocabulary from this story is used in the right way.

  7. This composition has a lot of good phrases that we can use. The story has no dead wood and i feel very pleasure reading it.

    Quah Kian Yang

  8. I feel that this story is really satisfying after being read and it is really interesting . It also has alot of good vocabulary.
    Jonathan Yeo.

  9. I find this story very interesting and very good vocabulary and good description about the main character’s feelings.

  10. This story has a lot of good vocabulary and I think Ivan is very creative in the way he writes his composition.


  11. The story was very exciting and it made me wanting to continue reading and do not stop. However,the birthday surprise was not that exciting,but i like the starting as how it express the writer's feelings but overall i think it is still excellent.

  12. I felt that the story was interesting and the idea for the story was good.I like it also because it has expressed his expression very clear and it is realistic.

    Loo Jia Lin

  13. This story describes alot about the writer's feelings.I think Ivan had put alot in effort to bring out the story more interesting by telling the reader what the story is all about.It is very detailed and pleasant to heart.I like this story.


  14. I like this story alot as it have many descriptions, vocabulary and phrases. It also expressed the main character's feelings.


  15. I feel that although this story is long, there is no dead wood. Many vivid and relevant details, excellent vocabulary and phrases. It feels as though as I am in the story, facing the same situation. Ivan relly expressed the characters feelings and thoughts. Way to go Ivan!

    By Gregory

  16. This story has a lot of vocabulary and good phrases. It also describes the writer's feelings and makes the story more interesting. The story urges the reader to keep on reading!


  17. His composition is very clear and has really good vocabulary. The content is also very interesting , not only that, he also creates a little suspense in his composition that makes the reader want to read his composition on. His paragraphing is also very well paragraphed and i think that a good compo is not only about vocab but also having the skill to kepp the reader reading and not let him or her feel bored. There are many learning point that I have learned from Ivan.
    Khoo Xin Hui

  18. This story covers the writer feelings and his expectation in a precise and concise manner. He has shown the readers that he has gone through a deep thought about this story. Good storyline!
    Brian Tang

  19. I think this story is very creative as it has alot of good idioms and vocabularly. A great piece of work.
    Jae Shin

  20. I feel that Ivan's composition is very detailed and specific. Many good phrases were in the composition.His storyline is quite short but he expands it with good vocabulary. Awesome!!

    Henny Maherah

  21. good vocab and good effort, but i don't think anyone would cry because their parents forgot their birthday, they would just feel sad so I feel that it is unrealistic to shout "how could they do this to me" when they just forget your birthday. i think u should at least make him think that they would throw him a surprise party, just alittle. Still, it has good start and end, nice story, very good vocab.

  22. It is a fabulous piece! Keep it up! Please continue to share your writing to us.
    Mom ;)

  23. Ivan's composition has many good vocabs and good phrases.I like the opening and the ending of the composition.Good effort! :P

    Wen Xuan~

  24. Ivan's compo writing contains a lot of good phrases and i think that it is good compo which we can learn from

  25. I think that Ivan's composition is written very well as the reactions and the emotions is really vividly described and I believe he must have put himself in that situation and hopefully, this has led him to describe more specificly.
    Peh Qian Ling

  26. There is a lot of good phrases in this compo , there is also no dead wood which is very good for a compo